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Contain your excitement... yes, that means you! You may have thought "oh yes, here's another witty, insightful post", but I'm afraid not. I bet you're now as disappointed as I was to find that the Holy Grail was not hidden beneath a famous art gallery as a certain work of popular fiction may have you believe. Still, damn good story though.

Anyone know any Muslim jokes?

Oh For Fuck's Sake

Breaking news.. I was walking through Glasgow, through, shall we say, one of the less desirable areas, minding my own business, and... and... w-well, it didn't make much sense but suddenly I was attacked, by a... by a - well, I'm not sure of this and you might think this is mad, but I think it was a dinosaur - about 7 foot tall, big purple thing, I... I managed to escape and got a photo of it on my phone camera (still can't believe it):

I was lucky to get away with a couple of bruises and a cut to the face.
Needless to say, I will not be venturing that far into Anderston again.

The ISS Tournament

Yes, it's happening.
If you are reading this and want to participate, it's being held this Friday at a secret location, somewhere in the heart of South Ayrshire.
Refreshments will be available in the hospitality suite before and after the tournament, but no discussing tactics!!

Ninjas

"Straw's veil comments stoke Muslim anger"
- is it me or is this not just another ridiculously OTT response from the Muslim community? Just like that uproar after cartoons were published depicting the prophet Mohammed. So what?
I'm not anti-religious and I respect the beliefs and views of anyone who practises religion in a decent way, but are these people just looking for an excuse to fight or what?! Surely God or Allah or whatever supreme being would encourage freedom of speech and comdemn such aggression in response to the smallest thing?
If you cover yourself head-to-toe in robes with only a slit for eyes, particularly in a country whose native culture is fundamentally different, then you should be prepared for a bit of criticism, and take it on the chin. I personally think it's a bit rude - if you dress like that you are in effect saying, "I'm minding my own business, and have no interest in you and no intention whatsoever to blend in with your culture even though I'm living in your country".
If you're going to dress like a ninja, you might as well take up martial arts, and vent your frustration on a punchbag, rather than taking to the streets in an act of political aggression. There's enough nonsense in the world without all this overreaction.
Why dont they follow the example of other Muslim women who don't feel the need to cover themselves from head to toe and are perfectly comfortable to walk around normally, without the need to hide from the world, and why can't the Muslim community just learn to take a chill pill and stop taking such issues so seriously?

Revenue + Rebate = Relief

Just as my overdraft limit was approaching, I received a cheque for a tax rebate of £400 from the Inland Revenue. The timing couldn't have been better.
No doubt there has probably been a mix-up somewhere, and I'm sure it will all be taken back as soon as I'm working again, but for now I'm just going to have to take the money and run. It certainly will provide a bit of financial relief.

He's Peter Pan

That Michael Jackson fellow - he's a bit odd, isn't he?

Chimp, Anyone??

Just when you thought this blog couldn't get any more naff...

Most people, vegetarians excluded, eat the meat of a wide range of animals, for example, cow, pig, chicken, rabbit, duck, venison etc - the list goes on (heck, even more obscure animals like kangaroo, crocodile or octopus).
But one thing that was puzzling me was how come you don't hear about people eating animals like bear, hippo, or chimp, to name but a few?
Is bear meat toxic to humans? What about hippo? Well, I suppose eating chimp is almost like cannabalism, so let's not go there.
But it gets you thinking, doesn't it? Or does it?